Reflection and Goodbye

This course has taught me a lot about myself, the way I listen and the ways I communcate in different situations. I am taking away the ways to reflect on my own practice and to constructively improve.  I appreciate all of your kind thoughts and guidance throughout this course and look forward to seeing some of you in future course work! This quarter has been very challenging for me balancing coursework with life (teaching, wife, 2 year old, 6 mo old). I feel like even though it is has been a challenge, I have learned a lot and look forward to growing more professionally!

Adjourning

This week we learned about the five stages of team development. One stage was adjourning – a time for “reflection, celebration, and goodbyes” (Adubi, 2010).  

Groups that I have been a part of that made for hard good-byes were ones where we were all compassionate about the goal, we got along very well, and we worked together for a substantial amount of time.  One group I am thinking about was my teaching job (School A) that I worked at for three consecutive years in the same school. I got along really well with the teachers in the school, we all collaborated on school wide themes and tasks and it was a great positive experience.  My placement after that year (we moved out of state for my husband’s job) was not as friendly and cooperative and it was hard to feel that connection like I had before. I ended up leaving that job after one year for a different placement which was more family like.  At School A’s closing rituals included a goodbye party, lots of cards, hugs, stories, and well wishes. I am still in contact with most of the colleagues from this school and miss them often! School B – there wasn’t a goodbye really; I had delivered my son at the end of that school year and decided over summer to apply to a school closer to my home. When I was hired, I resigned and that was that… 

From this group of colleagues from our Masters courses, I do not know what to expect. I have taken some semesters off and therefore have changed cohorts a few times so I have not been with any one set group for very long.  At the end of each course we wish all of our groups well and good luck and I would expect the same.  Some people may continue to keep in touch but I don’t think it will be as emotional as when you have a physical class with someone and you see them each day. 

Adjourning is an essential stage of teamwork because it is natural to have endings and endings allow for some sort of closure. This closure also allows for a new group to form for the next project. 

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

Conflict Resolution

I do not like to be confrontational, so that is part of my problem… My conflict is with my teaching assistant.  She will often do/say things in the classroom that are not appropriate (talking about the children in front of them or over them) or she will say things about a child when parents can hear.  As the program manager for our school and lead teacher, I have talked with her several times about both and she continues to do this.  I try to model by pulling her aside to talk with her about a student if it needs to be addressed immediately or I write a note to tell her later or while outside. My conflict is how do I maintain a positive professional working relationship with her while still trying to provide constructive criticism when needed. 

Some strategies I might try could be:

To use empathy and assertive “I” statements.  For example, I understand the need for you to tell me “Suzie” had an accident, but we cannot announce it in the hallway where teachers, parents, and other children can hear. Quietly getting out a new set of clothing will alert me with what I need to know (Conflict Resolution Network, 2014).

I would like to open this up to my peers, what are effective ways to move forward? I often find it difficult  to bring up such topics on the spot because it is sometimes the wrong timing within the classroom but after school, the moment has often passed. .. What to do? Please and Thank you J

Conflict Resolution Network. (n.d.). CR kit. Retrieved from http://www.crnhq.org/pages.php?pID=12#skill_3

My Communication Styles

This week we evaluated ourselves as communicators. I thought it was interesting that my scores were much high than those of my evaluators. I think I graded myself a little more harsh than I actually am.  I also thought each one of those questions are situational.  By that I mean, depending on the group or person in company, I would respond differently – being more or less assertive. One thing that surprised me was my verbal aggressiveness score that I gave myself – it landed in the “significant” range.  I feel like I can be aggressive but I also know when to reign in it as a professional.  

This week’s exercise has shown me that I have a lot to work on as an effective communicator and always need to be aware of my intentions and to not attack another listener/communicator. 

Effective Communication across Cultures

I don’t feel that I communicate differently with the different cultures I encounter but I am sure something is different because each person responds differently to you so sometimes you adjust your personal style to accommodate who you are with. For example, when I am with my college friends,  I tend to be very outgoing and social but if I am with a group of people I don’t know very well, I tend to be more quiet and shy – observing the group dynamic before “letting loose”.  When I am with my family, I am uncensored completely – speaking my mind and not worried about being judged by anyone but when with colleagues, I am very censored and particular in what I say and how I say it.  

Three strategies  I could use to help me communicate more effectively could be:

The platinum rule – do unto others and you would have others do unto you – basically speak to others in the way I want them to speak to me. This is a process of listening and learning from each other and yourself.  

Be aware of my audience and adjust my communication style so I do not offend or make them uncomfortable.

Withhold judgment about the audience until I have a better understanding of them and my own intentions without bias.   

nonverbal communication

For this assignment, again consider what you have been learning about communication skills and styles. Then record an episode of a television show you do not normally watch. Watch the show with the sound turned off.

• What do you think the characters' relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?

I watched “The Kitchen” which is on the Food Network. Based on what I am watching, each person is taking turns talking, seems like a friendship.

• What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

I see excitement, laughter, happiness, hand gestures that are non-threatening;, lip licking (over food), head nodding. The all seem happy, excited, and hungry. 

Now, watch the show with the sound turned on.

• What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?

They respect one another's professional opinions by listening, acknowledging them with head shakes or uh-huhs, and add to the conversation with the information they each know.  I guess I should have chose a non talk show for this assignment but my husband was already watching it so I went with it! The plot today was to use cauliflower in many different ways : as steaks and pizza crust. 

• Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

I didn’t know how this show worked so I did have to follow along. It was like a talk show about food and they had a special guest cook on the show as well.  I will assume each show has a different theme and that they don’t build on one another so that anyone could pick up watching the show at anytime. Had I watched a show I know like Nashville on ABC, I could follow along and do just fine with plot and characters. I also think if  I did not watch the show like I do, it would be hard to know why some of the characters are they way they are or why relationships are strained etc.  

My “aha” moment is that we don’t know what has happened in the lives of our children and families when we are working with them. We may know bits and pieces or may learn them along the way, but it is important to be a observant and to communicate well.