The Personal Side of Bias,
Prejudice, and Oppression
- What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression, or witnessed someone else as the target of bias, prejudice, and/or oppression? Keep in mind that one can encounter such incidents in real contexts, including online environments, as well as in fictional ones, such as movies, books, television shows, and the like.
Growing up in a small town, everyone
knew everyone. This was always good and bad… There was a family who lived down
the street from us that was different.
Different because they moved in around the time I was in 4th grade,
different because they smelled, and wore strange clothes (very outdated). The children in the family were nice and
really just tried to fit in but were always unsuccessful because some of their social
skills were lacking and also because the dominant group was shutting them out –
including me. Kids always made fun of
them for the way they talked (a little slower), for the smell, and the clothes
they wore. Amongst all of this –
unbeknown to a lot of the other kids, their little sister was battling leukemia. In one incident, a girl from our gym class
was annoyed that she had to have the locker next to “C” who smelled and sprayed
all of her clothes with a scented spray and then handed her a towel and told
her to go wash in the showers. We all watched in horror and then laughed as “C”
ran away crying.
- In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity?
All of the name calling and
mistreating of the kids in this family diminished equity because by doing those
actions, we all were saying that they are not equal to us for being poor, for
looking different, and for not speaking as well.
- What feelings did this incident bring up for you?
Now this incident brings up feelings
of sadness, regret, and shame. Then, I
tried not to be the mean one by letting the others do the talking, but now I
look back and think what bullies we were! How terrible we must have made them
feel, and also how terrible for them to also be fighting a fight for their sister
(who survived!). This family was going through a tremendous amount of stress
and we contributed to that. I wonder how
different things could have been for them… I wonder if they even had running water
in their house or if the parents had a washing machine for clothes…
- What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?
Most of the children on our school
bus/our class at school would have to change.
I think the prejudice came from these children being very different from
ourselves – they just never fit in as much as they tried. We would all have to
be a bit more understanding of how it would feel to be the new kids or the odd
one out. Maybe teachers could have been
more insightful and dealt with the bullying at school which could have helped outside
of school as well. I am glad that now as an adult, I can recognize this sort of
behavior and be sensitive to the situation and hopefully be able to stop it if
I see it again.
Hi Danielle,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story! You have to wonder where these children are picking up these behaviors from. Their parents and other family members serve as role models and should be more aware of how they behave themselves. Perhaps its society too. I knew a family similar to the one that you described. They dressed very differently than the dominate culture did as the mother would make their clothes. They had outdated hair styles, spoke differently, and had a different sense of humor and personality than the other children. They were labeled as "weird" because they were different. That label stuck with them all through our school years. As you mentioned, if we all tried to be more understanding and accepting of others, this problem could be solved. Parents and teachers everywhere need to start dialogues with students about bullying and tolerance.
Danielle,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing such a powerful personal story. Bullying has escalated since our childhood and we are witnessing more retaliation because of it. I agree with Lauren in starting and maintaining dialogue in hopes of permanently ending bullying.
Danielle,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this story. It is a perfect example of how we prejudge people based on their appearance. It would have been helpful for the parents to point out to their children that not everyone can have new clothes all the time. It would also have been important for the parents to encourage their children to get to know the children in this family, because it's what's on the inside, not the outside that counts! It would have also been a perfect opportunity for the community to band together and support this family during such a stressful time. Teaching children that different does not equal bad is an extremely important life lesson, and is one that benefits everyone.
Thanks everyone! I often think of my two young children growing up and having to deal with these types of issues as well. This is a great reminder to show positivity and openness when in teaching them about diversity. As a teacher, children come to school at 3 or 4 years old with stereotypes already in their minds and a preference of who they want to play with. This has to start before school and in the home - how can we support this change before we even get them?
ReplyDelete