Hello all! We are in the middle of a blizzard here in Northern Michigan! I hope you are all staying warm - it is too dangerous for us to venture outside so I spent this Valentine's Day with my three loves - my husband, my son, and my daughter! We made cookies and homemade pizza :)
Just a few weeks ago, one of the students in my class asked
why another students “eye was so weird.” The student has a birth defect in
which one eye is almost never open. I
forget the actual diagnosis but it looks like a lazy eye but only worse… At the time I responded with “N, How did that
make you feel?” N replied that it hurt his feelings and made him sad. I turned to the child who questioned and
asked her how she would feel is someone asked her why her hair/nose/ears were
weird and how she would feel. She said
bad and kind of dropped it. Because it made “N” uncomfortable I let it be at
the time. Later in the day, when the
questioning child and I were alone, I told her that everyone looks
different. We talked about how I have freckles
and she doesn’t and how she has green eyes and mine are blue. I told her that each person is special
because we are all different and unique.
She hasn’t brought it up since then.
I hope the message communicated was that everyone looks
different and that is what makes us each special…
An anti-bias educator might have used the moment to do the
entire lesson/teachable moment for the entire class. He/she could have done a small group on what
makes each of us unique. How are we similar, how are we different? Is it ok to
be different? How does it make us feel when others talk about us?
I guess I wasn’t fully prepared to deal with the situation. “N” and “A” have been in the classroom
together all year and no one has said anything.
I would have expected it at the beginning of the year and not now.
Danielle,
ReplyDeleteYou never know what kids are going to say; they are unpredictable. I think it is important that we as educators let children ask questions that they are curious about; children are curious and they need to explore their world, the only way to find answers is to ask questions. What we need to do is teach children how to ask questions without offending others. We are not always prepared for the questions that children will ask and sometimes we do not know how to answer them however, I think it is vital to children’s growth that we answer their questions honestly. Asking a question of a question is how I respond like you did most of the time with children; I want to make sure I understand the question before I give my answer. Fortunately children are very resilient so when they hurt other people’s feelings or their feelings are hurt they bounce back quickly which is part of their learning experience.
Hi Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI find it amazing at some of the things that children say, especially to one another. I do believe it is important that we as ECE allow children to express their opinions but also correct them and let them know if something they've said is hurtful to another person, and explain to them why such comments should not be said.
Hi Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your blog. I think as early childhood educators,we can all relate to being caught off guard by the things young children say. They say what is on their mind and they do not have the filter or reasoning to think about how it may make someone else feel. I think you handled the situation perfectly because you addressed the comment right away but you did not make N feel more uncomfortable by spending too much time discussing it at that particular moment. Also when you had the opportunity to speak to A alone later and explaining to her that differences are what make us special was a great approach. I think it is important that you did not make her feel badly for noticing the difference but that it is something that makes N the person that he is.
Danielle,
ReplyDeleteI thought you handled this very well. Years ago I had a little girl who had a port wine stain on her face. To my surprise not one child ever asked her about it. Her mom said their standard reply to questions was that was where the angels kissed her before she cam to earth.
Thank you all! You have made me feel much better about how I handled it!!
ReplyDeleteHello Danielle,
ReplyDeleteIt is always a touchy subject when explaining to children how to not point out someone's differences, but they have to learn and understand that we all have differences in looks, and abilities, but it doesn't take away from how amazing we are as people. I really try to always have a teachable moment with my children whenever they point out a difference in someone. You seem to have handled the situation very well, in my opinion. Keep up the good work!
Danielle:
ReplyDeleteWhen dealing with children you never know what might come out of the little inquiry minds or mouth! When children are engaged in heated discussion I try my best to let them work it out unless it seems like it moving in the wrong direction. The best thing you could have said was that each person is special because we are all different and unique. Great post!